The Side Nigga.

Being the side chick can be bad for a female but trust me when I say that being the side nigga can be just as damaging. Giving a chick the affection and attention she needs while she is too busy being loyal to a nigga who don't even got her number saved in his phone is stressful b. She calls you, cries to you, tells you about everything he is doing wrong and everything you do right but she still can not leave him. Is love that strong that it will make you put up with someones bullshit and stay when someone else would gladly treat you better and buy you way more ice cream and watch lifetime movies with you? Shit idk and I am honestly afraid to find out.

It seems like all the bad females fall for bad niggas b. What is it about being treated like shit that keeps a female around longer than what she should. You would think that when a guy comes along who meets a females spoken standards she would fall for him but it is always the complete opposite. What a female needs in a man she doesn't want, and what she doesn't well...we know she can't leave that nigga alone.

You can look better than him she still will not leave him. You can have a better hairline she still won't leave him. You can have better credit a car and a crib and he could sell drugs ride the bus and live with his mother b, she still will not leave him.While in the meantime you on the side wishing she was that loyal to you. You jealous of the love he getting because you working so much harder for it only to get a thank you at the end of the day.

 I understand you have history with him, I understand you love him but that is not enough ma.When do you draw the line and decide you not going to put yourself through the bullshit and him not being able to get you Mcdonalds ma? I know you tired of watching bootleg movies don't you wanna go out? If someone can treat you better ladies let him, life is too short to be treated like anything less than what you deserve ....until next time.

@vouloir_jerz

I hate screenshots!

As if being a playa wasn't already difficult.  Ladies yes, being a dog has it's rewards but it's not as easy as we make it appear to be. The hours we put it with a plethora of women,  the lies we not only have to tell but remember as well, memorizing numbers, remembering names, or what movie we seen last week, or birthdays, favorite colors yo it takes a talented dude to be a playa b we deserve credit for pulling the shit off on a consistent basis. You try juggling multiple relationships whilst making each and every person feel like they're the only one, see how long u last yo good luck b.

Being a playa is hard enough as it is but a shocking new developement has threatened the stressful yet exciting sport even further  b.......fuckin screenshots smh. Screenshots have made it difficult for playas across the globe to be an ain't shit nigga b. What in the ENTIRE fuck was Steve Jobs thinking by giving women the ability to screenshot conversations dog?! This nigga must of never dated a black or spanish woman in his fuckin life b or else his smart ass would of known better dog. Screenshots have single handedly destroyed so many niggas careers b. Thanks to screenshots dudes ain't getting as much pussy as they used to dog. And with the ability to screenshot convos and put them on Twitter dog.....we in trouble b!

You can't even talk to a chick the same because of screenshots b. You fuck around and tell a chick you only wanna be wit her and I guarantee that shit will be all over Twitter in two minutes and she gone be like "look what my baby sent to me" wit ya name and everything in the picture dog she ain't fuckin slick b. Screenshots have almost forced me to retire a couple of times b thank god I'm a good lier yo. Nobody were happier for screenshots then women dog. As soon as they found out they could show the world what dudes be saying when they feel like Drake they immediately smiled and put lip gloss on while listening to single ladies by Beyonce b. This shit has to stop, the game is changing and we have to adapt b!

Here are some ways to not get caught up with screenshots my nigga.

1. Don't tell her your real name:
          -give her a different name, this way if she screenshot u and the name is Jose u can say "bitch I ain't spanish"

2. Call em don't text em:
         -they can't screenshot phone calls.....yet my nigga, we all hate talking on the phone but its a risk u gotta take b trust me.

3......... idk 3 yet I'm still working on multiple ways to avoid the screenshot b. Shit is harder than accepting Lil Wayne getting Lauren London pregnant and fuckin Skylar Diggins dog . Smh screenshots have single handedly given women the upper hand yo we have to find new safer methods to be ain't shit niggas WATCH WHAT YOU TEXT......until next time

Single for the summer!

Ima just put it like this b, it's too fucking hot in the summer for a relationship dog fuck that. Women are at a very high demand in the summer b because they are at their best. Hair always done, smelling like every bottle in the victoria secret catalog, and the sundresses that make that ass bounce like Chris Paul wit a basketball my nigga!

Having one woman in the summer is a waste of sperm and a fresh haircut my nigga. In the summer every girls looks like a model b, it's like a kid in a candy store or toys r us b you just can't choose one. I feel bad for niggas dating lightskin chicks during the summer because I would be very afraid to let her outside, I would hire cheaters b word up cuz all women are up to no good during summer. If you do have a girl in the summer you're goin to cheat on her. Not because you want to but because you don't really have a choice b. You can't see a lightskin chick with curly hair,and a red sundress and not offer for her to come over and use your wifi my nigga that's blasphemy dog.

You gotta have at least 7 chicks during summer b , different races and skintones dog. And they got soft skin and fat ass butts and work part time at retail stores b. Don't no chick wanna be in the house during summer dog unless she ain't tryna look like Wesley Snipes b. They wanna be outside bringing all the boys to the yard wit that milkshake b. Even girls who have a man dont wanna be tied up in the summer yo. She tryna go out and find a nigga with a better snapback and more waves in his hair. You better tell her to get your name tatted on her face or get her pregnant because she gone stress you out this summer my nigga.

<Too hot for arguing, to hot for cuddling,shit its too hot for a title during the summer. I would just by mad condoms and kool-aid and make sure your phone bill is paid for two months dog. And get ready because the women during summer might have you crying during the fall if you ain't careful my nigga , they're too beautiful to let go.....until next time .

Can we chill?

Ladies it ain't no secret, for years men have been saying a plethora of good things to achieve the ultimate goal....the panties. There are a lot of various ways men use their smooth talking game to get those panties but the most common way is the timeless yet effective question "can we chill".

"Can we chill" is the classic way of getting inside the pants without even asking my nigga. It can be asked in a variety of ways." I'm bored wanna come thru" " if you ain't doing nothing later you can come over if you want" "wanna have movie night?" and my personal favorite that gets her through my front door faster than a swat team my nigga " I'm makin dinner tomorrow come over" ain't no female sayin no to food not even a lightskin chick b. Cook her ass some shit you just gotta put in the oven make some grape kool aid and in no time she gone be ready to lay back b .

Once she in the crib and y'all talk for awhile you gotta put a movie on b. Put on some scary shit so you can have a reason to get close and she'll have a reason to keep you close dog. Make sure yall watching it in your room, your sheets are washed and that wifi is booming at tremendous levels this is why Netflix is so vital to getting inside the pants dog. Then after she grabs your arm give her that Denzel Washington look and give her the wettest kiss ever in life b. Then after that you got it my nigga.

Are we wrong for not really wanting to chill....shit possibly. Females all over the nation are catching on though b so it's getting harder by the week. Some chicks will say yes to chilling then hit you with the I'm on my period line b smh leaving you with anger and a tree branch in ya boxers b. You gotta be careful but it still works yo trust me....until next time

I hate white girls

Ok I won't say I hate them.....but I really don't see what all the fuckin hype is behind these pale ass creatures. White girls have ruined so many black relationships and got black men talking like Tiger Woods b.They all look and sound the same b I swear every white girl looks like a Disney channel actor. What am I missing yo? Why are so many people leaving their women for these blonde blue eyed abominations?

It all started with that white hoe who set Kobe up. I still hate white girls for that shit b. Every white girl that I've ever flirted with threatened me with the cops for some fucking reason yo I'm not with that shit. I can ask a white girl do she give head and be facing sexual harassment charges in 5 minutes I can't deal with that honky shit I refuse. I'm not going to jail over a white girl.

They smell funny as fuck. I'm dead serious. White girls smell like rental cars. Some smell like target, glue, beef jerky, spam meat, white bread, gingerale shit I can keep going but the point is they smell......awkward. The shit bothers me . Niggas tell me "white girls buy you shit, let you hold the car" " you get a white girl pregnant you set" naaaaah b fuck all honky shit I'm good.

On a serious note though I'm a man of culture. African American, Spanish(except Mexican), Asian, Ethiopian, you know culture . When you think about it.......what culture does an American white woman have? Cowboys and cowgirls? They are only known for being white, setting Kobe up,giving the president head, and taking all of your money when you get a divorce so y'all can have them they smell like bologna anyway not being racist... until next time.

Being cheated on....sucks

There are several different types of pains in this world, physical pain, emotional pain and mental pain. You can have a broken leg or you can have a broken heart both hurt but question is which one will you be willing to tolerate my nigga. Some pain make it hard to move others hard to sleep but at the end of the day we all handle the shit different.

I'm pretty damn sure we can all agree that the worst pain in the fuckin universe is being cheated on. You know that feeling you get in your stomach that makes u wanna throw tf up. Fuck around and lose weight dog. I would rather get shot than get cheated on honestly because finding out somebody you love is involved with somebody else........MY NIGGA that shit hurts b.

The thought of my love being with somebody else makes me wanna murder somebody and end up on the first 48 dog the shit is just horrific. I would rather eat thumb tacks b dead ass. You give a chick your all only for her to end up wit some nigga who has cornrows and no wifi b. You giving him your all only for him to be wit a chick who wears leggings everyday and shops at rainbow. Being cheated on is a pain that doesn't go away fast yo. It last for weeks, months, and in most cases years. It makes you not wanna trust anybody at all.

People watch that show Cheaters and laugh but that shit ain't funny dog. Close your eyes and picture your girl/man fuckin somebody else. Now you ready to fight right? That shit is no joke at all it hurts. It's an indescribable pain b. Its the reason why we wont give them a chance. The reason why we hate that movie the notebook. The reason why we listen to drake with the doors closed. I've been cheated on and from my experience I wouldn't wish that pain upon anybody yo smh. To the people who got over it or are trying to god bless because it's a pain no medicine can heal only time ......until next time

I don't give head *shrugs*

Maybe I haven't matured enough yet b. Maybe it's because I haven't had enough practice or ate enough ice cream to be good at the shit. Maybe it's because my tongue barely passes my bottom lip tf good can that be? I love getting head but one thing is for god damn sure I don't give head yo. I've tried but......ok lemme explain.

I first decided eating pussy cat wasn't for me with the first girl that ever asked me. I never knew somebody so beautiful could smell so.....sour, fishy, down right fuckin atrocious b ew. I mean she smelled like she just got done working an 18 hour shift in red lobster kitchen. Till this day I don't eat seafood no more yo deadass. This is the thing ladies how in the ENTIRE fuck can u want a guy to lick the cat when u don't even take care of the shit? If it don't stink the shit is hairy something has gotta give if this tongue is going down there naaaaah ma. I ain't tryna eat the cookie and start chockin on coochie hair that shit ain't cool! Niggas ain't tryna eat no fur burgers my nigga I'm fuckin good.

Next time I decided eating the box wasn't for me was the second time I tried. Now I did it and was good.......right up until she said "thank god my period just got done earlier". So at this point I'm like wait u mean to tell me yo shit was bleeding earlier? I don't even like red juice b I never brushed my teeth so fuckin hard in my entire life yo. My gums and tongue was bleeding word up.

If coochie had a flavor I'd probably eat it more but the shit is so bland b. I think I should just have a jolly rancher in my mouth or some shit cause it does nothing for me. Water has more taste than coochie dog. Then ya face be all stinky smelling like a gym workout b I just can't do it. I was with a girl for 3 years and she got nothing.

Maybe it's a maturity thing. I'm not saying I'd never eat it again but as of right now if you ain't Rihanna you gets no head from this guy.I heard it makes you grow facial hair ......that's a bunch of bullshit I tried that, lord knows how much I hate having a fuckin toddler face b. Maybe I just need a good teacher. I be trying my best to avoid the shit too yo. I try eating around it and sucking on the inner thigh hoping that shit is good enough but obviously not b smh. I have a lot of growing up to do yo .....until next time.